Flash Points: Identifiers Of An Unhealthy Relationship


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Society, as a whole, encourages relationships. Being in a relationship is very much considered the norm; most of us are expected to settle down with someone, marry, have children.

While this is usually a healthy thing, there is a point at which relationships can become damaging. Just because you like being around someone isn’t a sign that you’re actually good for one another. Every relationship has the potential to go bad, but there’s little hope of the couple inside the relationship seeing the warning signs and flash points that suggest there is a rough road ahead.

Let’s explore the signs and signals that can indicate a relationship is not quite living up to the societal promise of being happier and healthier when you have found “the one”. None of the issues below mean you have to break up; they just mean it’s time to examine your circumstances and seek to improve any problematic areas.

The Blame Game

What happens when something goes wrong in your life, or the life of your partner?

Do you talk it through together, try to find a solution? Or is there always the temptation to blame the other? Here are a few examples of how this works, even in scenarios when the other is clearly not to blame, but the Blame Game escalates anyway.

  • One of you was late to work that morning: “You kept me up too late last night with your snoring and I overslept.”
  • One of you forgot to buy something at the grocery store: “Why do you not give me better lists to work off?”
  • One of you can’t find a work outfit you want to wear: “Why can you not keep your things tidier so I know what I’m looking for all the time?”

When you instantly blame your partner for even the most unconnected of issues, then it’s a sign your relationship is not on a healthy footing. Counseling and therapy as a couple should be able to help you through this.

Encouraging Poor Choices

If one of you is trying to lose weight, is the other supportive, or constantly trying to convince them to go out for dinner and just forget about the diet? The same can happen with partying and drinking; one tries to cut back, but rather than being supportive, the other is resentful at having no one to have a good time with. This is a more common issue than you might think.

The best way of resolving this is to always undertake lifestyle choices together, whether that be a joint healthy eating plan or even entering rehab for couples. This ensures you can support one another to stay on the right path, without anyone having to feel lonely.


Jealousy is a sign of a fundamentally unhealthy relationship. Healthy relationships are based on trust; without that, you are on shaky ground. Learning how to conquer jealousy is essential to the health of a relationship. This is another area where you may find couples therapy beneficial.

Once you have identified the areas of your relationship that could do with some work, you can truly transform your shared experience into something genuinely healthy and beneficial. 


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